Nancy Pristine - Releasing Negativity

Ever wonder how some people always have such a positive outlook? It's easy to chalk it up to a charmed life, but really it's because they know something you don't. They know that a better overall attitude has a tremendous impact on our emotional and physical health. Knowing that allows them to think positively, be confident, perform their jobs better, and be happier.

If you’re walking around stressed out—clenching your jaw, eating too fast because you're always in a rush, or just not exercising—it's time for a self-directed change. You can't wait for the world to get better, or for your boss to change, or for the economy to improve. If you want change, you have to make it happen, and you can make it happen right now. Keep reading, and I'll tell you a little secret that will help you sleep in peace and wake up in joy.

The Problem with Negativity Is…

It breeds more negativity—it's insidious! If circumstances irritate you or put you on the defensive, try a different approach. Let go of all that negative energy and see the positive in a situation. In other words, become responsive to the world around you, not reactive. I know you are probably thinking, what is she smoking? Keep reading, my friend.

When you have a sour attitude, your body reacts by stiffening up. It's the old "fight or flight" instinct that expects trouble around every corner. To release this tension, stop what you are doing and exhale deeply. Next, seriously reflect on the things that really matter in your life. I'm not going to spell them out for you—you know what they are. When you take a higher, more positive perspective, all those little mental, physical, and emotional annoyances will lessen. Although they may not disappear, the point is that you are not giving them power over you by adding negative energy.

Walking and Sitting Tall Really Does Matter

Do you remember being told to stand tall and sit straight as a child? Well, there was a good reason for that. A few years ago, my mother-in-law had an ailing back. She went to a well-known back specialist in New York City, who told her there was nothing wrong with her back. He said, "Sit up straight—look at you! You're slumped in the chair, and you look like you’re 100 years old." When she left, her back pain was gone—never to return.

I realize that not all pain is due to poor posture or stress, and I'm not talking about serious abnormalities, illnesses, and diseases. I'm talking about everyday aches and pains that we all experience and allow to control us. I've seen elderly people look ten years younger simply by improving their posture. They felt better, too!

The "So What?" Solution

What's important to understand is that life is a pain—but it is also a pleasure. So lighten your emotional load and say, "So what?" Letting the small things go will help you achieve that happy, comfortable place you are looking for. Life is not meant to be one big joy ride. It's like a big university where some classes are more fun than others. If you keep lamenting over the not-so-pleasant classes, you won't enjoy the exciting ones. You might even stay stuck in the low grades of school, because you are fighting the process instead of saying, "So what?" to it.

Here are some suggestions for shedding those stressful moments and lightening up:

Caring about what other people think is the quickest way to kill your own pleasure and power. You can't please everyone, and trying will displease the person who matters most—you! Worrying about others’ opinions will stifle, limit, and imprison you.

Repeat after me: "So what to what other people think of me!"

If you do things your way, you will be happier and make fewer mistakes. How many people do you know who live their lives for someone else and are miserable because of it? Too many! Here's an example: Think of a young adult who wants to be an artist, but whose parents want him to be a doctor. He becomes a doctor and always feels like something is missing, because he is not following his dream.

Repeat after me: "So what to what other people demand of me!"

Stop fighting the world in the name of justice. When you become righteous about your cause, you become indignant, extreme, and as exaggerated as the people you are fighting against, which creates more strife and polarization in the world.

Repeat after me: "So what if people are rude, are having a bad day, or have a different opinion than me!"

Admit it: doesn't that feel better? I enjoyed it so much I think we should do it again. Okay, I know you're busy, so we'll move on. In the end, you can't control what people think or say to you. So don't sweat it. People may be rude, jealous, angry, and outright nasty! So what? You have had times in your life where your behavior was in question—everyone has. I've probably made more mistake than everyone reading this article put together. I can also say I've learned a lot from the stupid or embarrassing things I've said and done. The mistakes I've made or the lessons I've learned do not make me a lesser or greater person. What makes me a happy, comfortable person is being satisfied with my life is being able to say, "So what?" to it all.

Letting Go

The art of letting go can be narrowed down to two steps:

1. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and then exhale it through your mouth—thrust it out as if you are releasing something from your body.

2. In a very sincere, matter-of-fact tone, say, "So what?" to yourself or out loud. When you do this immediately, notice the physical effect it has on you. Notice how your shoulders drop and a little smile adorns your face. Also, notice how this helps you put things into perspective. Have you ever watched a play from the balcony of a theatre? You have such a clear perspective of the stage because you are above it. It's the same idea with the "so what?" solution. You can rise above the anger, frustration, and other negative emotions. This allows you to learn from the person or the experience—take the best and leave the rest, as the saying goes.

Have you ever noticed that some situations and experiences repeat themselves over and over? Maybe you keep going out with women who don't respect you. Or maybe you keep attracting friends who take advantage of you. Or you continuously find yourself in dept and behind on your bills. Take a moment now and think about the situations that keep recurring in your life. Don't feel bad about them—we all get into patterns and repeat experiences until we learn valuable lessons. Be patient with yourself while you are learning.

Also, now that we're talking about patience, I would also like you to consider being patient with the people around you—the guy who cut you off when he was changing car lanes, or the woman who jumped in front of you at the movie theatre to buy tickets, or the politician who infuriates you on the television because he or she takes a different view than you. Some people's words and actions might irk you, but don't hold it against them and ruin your day—just say, "So what?"

People need good examples; be one of them. Don't compromise your behavior, mood, and attitude because of someone else's. Set yourself free by simply saying, "So what?" to difficult people and negative experiences. Don't wait a minute longer—start practicing your "so what?" immediately. Life is too short—and so what to that, too!